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Sunday, March 20, 2011

You ARE dynamite bitch!

My beautiful sis has come into town for a visit, and even though I desperately wish she was closer to me and my mother, I have (finally) accepted that she will either work out her relationship, or she will choose on her own time, that the relationship is no bueno.  But that doesn't mean I don't still toss around ideas about how to get her here with us.

Anyhow, she's here for a visit and when she comes down I think of how terribly like my mom she it.  So different from me (I assume I got most of my many charms from my fathers side of the family) She's tall, I'm short, she's short tempered, I'm easy going, she is funny, but in a completely different way than I am funny.  And the list goes on and on...  But the one difference that I notice the most, is the lack of confidence and self appreciation.

Now, I have been known to be overly confident, but it is more of a put on than actually believing I am as good looking as Kim Kardashian (after a few drinks, that's who I say I body double for ;) despite the obvious "not so much") whom is a beautiful lady.  I mean don't get me wrong, I do think I am sexy and beautiful in my own "Crystal Hebel" way, but if nothing else, I am realistic!  I am five foot two and according to doctors still over weight by 40 or so pounds(even though I have lost almost 60, and yes, even fat, I thought I was good looking)  Now part of this feeling  is boosted by other traits I know I have.  I know I am no raving beauty, but once you pack on my good and bad traits I still believe I am a hot pick!  This may be vain, or OVER confidence, but knowing my sister, I would rather be over confident then have no confidence at all. 

As for the "self appreciation" trait she lacks, I can see when I do a good job.  I know when I have put my all into something and when I haven't and when I do put myself into something with my whole heart, I am proud of the things I have accomplished and I give myself big up's for it (even if the praise is for my ears only and I celebrate is with a nice hot bath).  Same if I have a difficult decision to make, and feel I make the right choice.  Or if I stick up for myself in the face of a bully.  Again, maybe this is a bad trait to have, but I wouldn't change if for the world after seeing how my sister is.

My sister is physically beautiful, sensitive, caring, and would give you the shirt off her back.  She has a wonderful work ethic, is smart, and funny.  She is organized, and has a nice ass ;) Ok, I'm being funny, but I see all these wonderful things about her, and she barely sees any of them.  Why doesn't she get how truly wonderful she is?  Why doesn't she know she is special she is?  My mother always told us we were beautiful and special, and for what ever reasons, it stuck with me and didn't with my sister.  If she could see, how sublimely spectacular she was, I just know her decisions in life would be different.

So, this is my shout out to all my girls (and boys) out there, who don't think they are good enough to try and get that job they are dying for.  Who don't have the confidence to leave a bad relationship and find some one who truly is better for you and deserves you.  Who settles for less than amazing every single day, because you think that you can't do any better...  Take the chance!  It's only going to take one glimpse of self worth, confidence, or splendor to snap you out of it and make you see you are special!

I hope and pray every day that my sister finds that moment and breaks her from the habit of self un-appriciation!  And now, I hope some one else sees this and also takes a step forward in the right direction!

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