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Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Why'd you say that!?

I don't have much to say as of late, because life has been hectic to say the least.  But over the last week or so I have had some things said to, or to people around, me.  Every timethese things are said I think to myself, "Why in the F@#$ did you say that?"  Thought I would leave some examples.

1) During several recent break ups around me, I have heard the ladies say that their ex-men said, "I don't love you, and I never HAVE loved you."  It a hurtful thing to know that your going through the break up and loosing some one you care about.  Couldn't you just say, "I don't love you any more."?

2)  When you get your hair done, and you pay 100$ for a highlight that took 4 hours start to finish, DO NOT say, "This is why I only come in once every six months." apon hearing your total.  Really bitch?  Lemme break it down for ya...  That's the foil, color (both dye and developer), water, shampoo, conditioner, biosilk, and other styling products, plus electricity, making it really about 85$, divided by 4.  Which is 21$ an hour.  Now lets take the 40% out for the rental of the booth which is 8 more dollars, knocking our total down to 13$ an hour!  WHICH DOES NOT INCLUDE THE TAXES WE HAVE TO PAY!  So suck it the fuck up if you want you hair done, or do it yourself!

3)  This one was from my husband, and even though a. I asked his opinion, and b. I know he didn't mean it how it sounded, it was too funny/awful not to add.  I play on a co-ed softball league, and I asked if I was fast when I ran to base.  His response was, "Your fast, for a girl", strike number 1...  "I mean, you should have seen how slow you were when you were heavier." Strike 2, and THEN before I could even respond, "I did not just call you fat."  Strike # 3 buddy, YOUR OUTTA HERE!!!  ;)

4)  "Being that you don't really work." Said a man to a housewife....  Really?

5)  I called some one a dick for cutting me off, which was quickly followed by my 5 year old asking if he could say that.  I asked "say what?" , still pissed off from the dumb ass driver and not really paying attention.  And my son says, "Dick?"  *sigh*

Think before you speak people!!!!  : )

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Laws About Men :) Part 1

I decided to write about this after my double header softball game tonight.  Watching a bunch of seemingly normal men get absolutely ridiculous over a co-ed softball league will get your brain working for sure.

First, lets cover what men say and then what they really mean.

A. You ARE beautiful to me baby.  And varying forms of this...  ie.
      1. You look beautiful in the mornings
      2. You look most beautiful right when you get out of the shower
      3. You look so beautiful tonight

B.  Your right. And varying forms of this...  ie.
      1. I'm sorry I forgot to take the trash out
      2. This is stupid!  Why are we fighting over this?
      3. I will never do it again, I promise

C.  I did the laundry for you.  And again, different forms of this... ie.
      1. I cleaned.
      2. I mowed the lawn.

All of these wonderful compliments and or "favors" are code for "Wanna have sex now?"

Another one of my favorites that single ladies are bound to hear is, "I don't think I want a serious relationship right now."  This one is for you to think they are vulnerable from a previous relationship, when in reality it simply means, "I wanna fuck you and anything else I damn well please, and definitely don't want to answer to you."  Ladies!  Do not fall into this one!  It is a TRAP!  :) (MEN:  If a woman says ANY of the for mentioned thing it is because she loves you, either as a friend or lover)

Second, men are, by their very nature, the more aggressive sex.  Now a days with no hand on hand combat going on here in this country, this will transfer itself on to all sporting events, or on to any situation where too much alcohol is involved.  If a man suddenly jumps up screaming at Tony Romo while kicking the coffee table, therefor scaring the shit out of you and your kids, relax, it is only a man being a man.  Regardless of how dumb it appears to you, let him do this without chastising him, for this is the better release of testosterone than the other option, Releasing While Intoxicated.

This second option of releasing their aggression is the worse of the two reactions.  Men can drink and be merry with the best of them, but after that one drink too many....  Watch out.  There is actually an endorphin that is released that travels through their brain and trips the aggressive trigger ;)  At this point, they become belligerent, or cocky/mouthy, or just plain stupid.  These things normally transmit to rude comments, subsequently leading to a fight.  Either verbal with a spouse/lover or physically with a homeboy/complete fricken stranger.

Third, lets address the IFBWIS syndrome.  This is an acronym stands for, I'm a Fucking Baby When I'm Sick syndrome.  Now, despite my smart ass comment about the endorphin trigger tripper in my previous paragraph, women really DO have an endorphin that is released when we are in pain, therefore making our pain tolerance higher (scientifically proven boys, so shut the hell up, this whole blog is in defense of you!)  Scientists say it is the reason we can bare/deliver children.  So when you recover from the flu and still did all of the things required of a wife/mother/girlfriend and then your significant other gets the same thing and they act like they are dying, it probably is because they really feel sicker than you did.  So cut them some slack :)

I hope that this blog will shed some light on the very confusing subject of men for the ladies out there, and bring a smile to your face.  I also hope that the men have a better time of getting along with their lady-mates after they read this.  :)  XOXO

Monday, April 4, 2011

Twirling Thoughts About Parents

It's been a couple of days since I have written and I have sooo many subjects I want to rant about I'm having trouble narrowing them down.  I went through and decided to start with the last one I thought about.  Dumb ass parents of children.  Do I need a disclaimer here? Better be safe than sorry *DISCLAIMER!!!! These are my thoughts and opinions.  These do not apply to everyone, as I know there are exceptions to every rule.*

My eldest son is 5 and now goes to school, but for 3 year prior to that he attended a day care.  This is a wonderful day care (my youngest now goes there), and the lady who runs it is superb.  When my eldest started to go, he began to get sick once a damn week.  So after about a month of doctor visits and missed work, I finally confronted my day care lady.  I told her that I was upset about how often my kiddo was getting sick.  She looked at me sympathetically and for lack of a better way to describe this, she called out a parent who was always sending her kid to the day care sick. (This is a small, at home day care with like 7 kids max, and just this elderly lady taking care of them all)  With out calling this mother a dick head, she said just that.  She gave me any example of how, the kid (really he was a baby, like 1ish) came in one day with a rash of huge bumps all over his legs and belly.  The day care lady didn't notice it until she went to change his first diaper, and as soon as she DID notice she contacted the mother.  The mother played stupid (how could she not have seen dime sized leisons on this boy?), and told the lady she'd be there to get the boy ASAP.  Not knowing what is was, the day care lady separated the boy from the other kids in case he was contagious.  Needless to say 6 hours later, the mother showed up (she worked less than 20 minutes from the day care) to get her little boy.  Now, I do feel sympathy with this poor baby, but that bitch should have been smacked!  It turned out that the boy had a bacterial skin infection and WAS contagious.  None of the other kids got it, thanks to the swift actions of the day car provider, but what if she hadn't of separated the boy, thinking the mother would be there in 20 minutes?

I started watching this woman after my day care lady informed me of why she believed that my son was getting sick all the time.  Well, I'll be damned, if that kid had a runny nose, my son would get one 7 days later (as well as all the other kids)  One day I walked into the day care and found the boy separated from all the other kids.  I asked the baby sitter what the deal was and she told me, that in her opinion, the boy had Pink Eye.  She said when he first arrived he was asleep and she didn't notice it until he woke up almost an hour later.  She then separated the boy, and called the mother... 4 hours ago.  I immediately got pissed. 

The next morning, who woke up with Pink Eye?  My son.  Now this happened at least 10 times.  And one of those times, she came and brought that Pink Eye ridden child back and handed the day care lady, Visine.  My day care provider, told her she needed to take him to a DOCTOR and not to bring him back with out a doctors note.  Really bitch?  You needed to be told that?

Anyway, on the 10th or so time that this kind of thing happened, I had had ENOUGH.  I waited for her to come and pick her sick ass son up and told her I needed her address.  She looked at me curiously and asked why, and proceeded to tell her "I need it so I can forward my doctor bills to you, because you are always bringing your sick ass kid into here and getting my kid sick!"  She looked at me with her beady eyes wide with shock and stormed out of the day care.  I felt better and she stopped being so stupid with her sickly child.  My question is, why did I have to call her out and embarrass her before she decided to change her ways?

She was eventually kicked out of the day care for reasons unknown to me. Yes, it made me smile to know she was gone.

Since my son started school, he has started getting sick again.  Now, I expected this to some degree, but he started getting sick once a week around the holidays.  Here is my conclusion.  There are dumb ass parents every where!  When your kid is sick, take them to the damn doctor instead of sending them to school to give my child strep, or the flu!  Or at the very least, keep them home and try to make them better by yourself!  Even as I type this, I can not believe I have to feel this way.  Why do you want to send your kid, when they are sick, to school?  When you're unwell, does your ass go to work?!?  If so, you need to be smacked for both offenses!

One more thing I want to touch on, vaccines.  This controversial subject for people now a days, but I would like to make two quick points.  A.  Chromosomes cause Autism, not vaccines. IF (and in my opinion, that's a big if) you think the vaccines gave your baby Autism, maybe it just made what was already there, more obvious?  And B.  Lets say they DO cause Autism, seriously?  In my head, it's like this.  Dead child due to not getting a vaccine for a potentially deadly virus/disease, or Autism.  And at that thought, I know some beautiful, bright, intelligent, wonderful, loving children with varying forms of Autism.  To ME, there is no choice.

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