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Sunday, May 22, 2011

The BEST Night time story EVER (for kids and parents) :)

Okay, First let me thank my Wife-in-Law for posting this on her face book, I would have never even heard of it if not for her. Second, let me say, that I should have thought of this about 5 years ago, when my oldest son was colicky, gasy, and cried for hours.
 Adam Mansbach is a tired father, whom after a VERY hard time getting his baby to sleep, after a very long day decided to write a book titled "Go The [Expletive] To Sleep"  Just reading the title makes me laugh.  Throughout the book are little rhyming paragraphs with blank spots in the lines, so that when you read to your grumpy child, you can mentally put the curse word you are so vehemently wanting to say, into the book.  I say this is absolute genius, with more than a pound of grains worth of truth to it.  If you don't agree with feeling like this at some point of you parental career, then either A. You are in fucking denial, or B. You should take your ass down to the Pope and be canonized as a saint.

With both of my boys I have had those evenings where all you want is the little bastard to shut the hell up and go to bed.  I mean really, they have been up for six hours, had an eight ounce bottle, taken a bath and had a new diaper put on, and they STILL won't shut the fuck up?  What was wrong with them that day?!?!?

My husband, when the boys were under a year old would jokingly sing, "Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep so I don't beat you..." over, and over again, in a sweet and gentle voice until they would slowly drift off into sleep.  I laughed at that and I will always look back fondly at those memories.  Mansbach has embodied those feelings into a book.  The love you feel for your children is so strong that even when you want to tell them to "Shut the **** up, and go the **** to SLEEP!"  you don't.....  But that doesn't mean you never think it! 

Here is an excerpt from the book:

The owls fly forth from the treetops.
Through the air, they soar and they sweep.
A hot crimson rage fills my heart, love
For real, shut the [expletive] up and sleep.
The cubs and the lions are snoring,
Wrapped in a big snuggly heap.
You're cute as hell and smart as [expletive]
But why in the [expletive] won't you sleep?

Again, I have read this at least 10 times, and I still smile to myself at the memories of my boys's babyhood this little rhyme drudges up. 

Next time your rocking your little one to sleep and She/he is being an ass and you think to yourself that you might cry, remember this book.  Smile to yourself and embrace the memories you are making, even if at that moment you hate life, yourself, and your child.  Don't feel bad, you aren't the first that feels this way, nor will you be the last to feel that way.  And if you confide in someone how your feeling and they think your awful, either they don't have kids or you were just in the presence of a saint, and you can contact me to reassure you that you are not alone.

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